Welcome to the Irish Fighting MS page.
MY STORY
My name is Shane Gorman and i was diagnosed Multiple Sclerosis in November of 07.
I always remember the day the doctor told me and i started to cry and he said he was sorry and that it must feel like i got hit on the head with a hammer, i said to him that i would rather he hit me on the head with a hammer.I was torn apart, the fear of not knowing what was going to happen to me.
At the time i had lost full use of my right arm and my little finger on thy left arm, i didn't know was this going to happen to every where on my body or am i going to be in a wheelchair or what, Total Panic. If you can imagine being in bed next to your wife and wanting to put your arm around her and you couldn't, i would ask my wife to lift my arm and put it around her.Even to pet the dogs or play video games.I am a huge fan of video games and always have been. i remember i had just gotten a brand new game that i was dying to play but i could only make the guy walk not shoot because the buttons where on the right side of the control. I would sellotape my right fingers to the control in desperation and stubborness. Another thing that was great craic was going to the bathroom at a bar, standing at the urinal for five minutes just trying to open your pants open and people looking at you like is that lad drunk or what. But i think the worst of all is that i am in a family full of painters and i had my own business for many years. Not to be able to hold a paint brush was so hard for me. I still went working nearly everyday unless i was going to the hospital or something like that. I started painting with my left hand and believe it or not i was plastering hallways too because i am a thick Paddy and it wasn't going to beat me.
Eventually it did break me down a little, a lot of it can be mentally draining and although my hand is much better now than it was, the damage done cannot be fixed. I have tears in my brain and in my spinal chord and once they are thorn they can't be fixed. Everyday my hand and arm is very uncomfortable, to look at me nobody would know there is a problem that is what makes the disease so hard to explain to people. I describe the feeling as if your hand was covered in wax or you where wearing a heavy rubber glove. It's constant and does not go away ever, the amount of concentration just to do a normal days work or activities is exhausting to the point where i need to go to bed,not want to go to bed,NEED TO.
I also had a surgery to remove my lymph node from my groin because the medication that is supposed to help you is so potent that it actually did me damage. My medication is now $12.000 for 3 months which thank fully is mostly covered by my insurance.
On a lighter not i am doing much better these days and i have adapted as best i can to my new life with MS. If you let it get you down it will but you can't do that. I went ahead getting married to my wife Molly, we got a new pup, i started to design and print T-shirts and have been doing OK with that and i am trying to get back into the painting again too. Also i have met some really nice people at the MS society who i know i can call if i need anything. So it's not all bad or as i say
If life hands you shite....make silage.
Man fair play on that post, very candid of you. cant say i feel ur pain but i certainly have an insight into it now! loving the site ur a mad fish. ill check often and ill even do some snooping around the town for this 'big hammer'.
ReplyDeletethanks for the comment today. i really needed to read this post. i was getting a little down tonight, i needed to relate to someone, but yet at the same time, remind myself that i'm not doing so bad right now. i hope that doesn't come out wrong. sometimes you just need to remember that your not the only one feeling thoughts like this. i wish you days of as little pain as possible. days full of holding paintbrushes, holding your game controler, holding your wife. and enjoying it all as much as possible. i'll send some positive thoughts your way
ReplyDeletehey ardee man, i'm really sorry to hear of your symptoms. I was diagnosed in June of 06 and i was scared wit-less like you. It affects my vision and i wake up thankful every morning that i can still see. I dont experience nearly as serious symptoms as you do (mine come and go with stress) they arent constant. I totally agree with what you said about keeping a positive outlook. I know that it is hard to do some days when many of the things you love so much are taken away from you. But i do believe that a positive outlook can make you life so much easier to live with, even with MS. If you believe it wont get you down, it wont, spirit cant be broken, especially one of an Irishman.
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